Call it what you will; a test, a lesson, a trial or what have you but sometimes the things that need doing still suck! Sometimes they still hurt! Sometimes you want to avoid the whole situation because it's not going to be pleasant and occasionally it turns out that the experience wasn't at all as bad as you thought it would be. That will not be the case today. We have to have a cat put down today. It's not what I planned to do today, but that's how life goes sometimes. I'm not going to go into the unpleasant details, but suffice it to say, there is nothing that can be done. In a while I'll take her in, just mentally preparing right now.
This is just another layer of the story, another reason to prepare. A couple weeks ago I lost my uncle unexpectedly. He left behind a wonderful legacy and it was a true testament to the man he was, but the real shock of it was that nobody saw it coming. But then the reality is that nobody knows when their ticket expires. My aunt and the family they created were stunned but able to pull it together and do what needed to be done, obviously, but the journey I'm on today, the suddenness of my uncle's passing and with the words of a dear friend and Dave Ramsey, "You're going to die, get a will!" I think it's time to put the big girl panties on and do it. I'd like to have a plan or maybe a general direction to take in the event my life changed in an instant, I'd like to have the peace that they say comes after making tough decisions. But then where do you start? Who gets what? Where do you want your final resting place to be? Will your laundry be done? Dishes in the sink? Will the project you're working on be finished? What happens to the stuff you leave behind? But most importantly the kids, oh. my. God. my. children! Where do I find a suitable replacement for me? For Ron? Who knows my children like I do and who will raise them the way I want them to be raised and will it happen after I'm gone? Will they do it for a week? A month, a year or two? At all? Will I ever actually need this? I hope not, but as Hallmark-y as my life seems to some, myself included occasionally, this would not make a Hallmark moment. What do you do? When someone I know is having a hard time and the odds are seemingly stacked against them my advice is often, "Just breathe." Advice I sometimes give myself. Would I be able to remember that?
I've been really looking forward to 2011 and I'm enjoying it thus far, I know lots of people who are hurting and I feel so blessed. I know some very big things are coming this year for my family and I look forward to that, but I think that 2011 will also be a year of tough decisions and growth as I've never made a tough decision yet where I didn't grow in some way. That said, it's time to put the big girl panties on and deal with it.