be still...

With another referral to an "ologist" given to Ron yesterday sending me into a heart-heavy type of day, the kind riddled with angst, fear, pause and trepidation. My brain going in circles with regard to which "ologist" it will be that will finally look at m husband as a whole living breathing human being instead of their "specialty," will look at him and care, will look at him and not just see a number, will look at him and look after him as they would a brother, father or family member and who will finally connect all the dots even those outside of their "specialty" and figure out what the hell is going on with him. It's the continuation of a very stressful time and I needed to clear my head. With the kids at the neighbors doing yard-work I headed outside for some quiet. I pulled up a lawn chair, faced the sun, had my faithful dog at my feet, heard the clinking of Garlic's halter watching him eat the lush spring grass and listened to the wind blowing through my pine trees. It was then in that moment I heard God's voice whispering to me, "Be still my child and know that I am God." It was also at that moment I was able to let go of all that angst, fear, pause and trepidation and breathe. And I kept on breathing and it was what I needed and I was thankful.