First of all thank you all for the prayers and concern, the past two weeks have been the most difficult weeks of my life up to this point and yet I can say that even in facing this I feel blessed. I am finding the most amazing support in places I never expected to find it and not finding it in places I'd have expected to find it. It's been full of emotions, heartache and stress and mercy and beauty and hope.
Two weeks ago today I brought Ron to the ER for a second time and to make a very long story short he'd been very sick for a while prior to that so upon a bit of investigation they found a tumor on his kidney measuring 9cm x 9cm x by 10cm, was admitted and told he had cancer, they just needed to run some more tests to figure out which type it was. So about a million tests later, 2 biopsys, several ct scans and an ultrasound later we still do not have a diagnosis or plan, and did I mention it's been 2 weeks?! Now I'm not exactly considered a patient person about much of anything and I generally live my life by the philosophy of you get more flies with honey than vinegar, (of course I've never figured out what you'd do with all those flies...) so I've been waiting mostly patiently for two weeks without any answers. I will admit to backing a PA into the wall after a week of nothing to get answers and being quite successful with that, but I've had enough! Seeing my husbands spirit sink to a frustrating low today lit a fire inside me tonight. I'm gathering my thoughts and and headed into the hospital prepared for a battle tomorrow. I've been told be several people that you have to advocate for yourself and that you have to be aggressive and force the issue, maybe that's true. How sad if it is, I don't want to have to be that way and I don't want to raise my kids in a way that that's the expected "norm." Nor do I want to wait for people to think about the possibility of making a decision likely sometime in the future if the wind is right and the crow if flying east while my husband sits in pain in a hospital room and that's what I'm faced with right now, so if I need to advocate more loudly than the person in the next room I'm in! I'll do what it takes to get him the care he needs, it's been two weeks of in hospital care and several weeks before that, enough is enough!