Sunday, September 25, 2011

things that make me go hmmmm....

Ok, well, it's only actually one topic, but several hmmmmm moments in relation to that.

There are moments that happen that make me stop and wonder and question things, like the sanity of those around me. For example my son's football team. I may take a whole lot of flack for this but here goes. This is his first year playing not for lack of trying to get him on a team in the past but still a first year player. He's one of only a few boys on the team that have never played tackle football before, and there are a few that have played for over 5 years. Mind you I'll admit that I know very little about the game and I have little interest in learning a whole lot about it, but that is not the case for my son. He is a sponge when it comes to learning about the game and is willing to try anything asked of him by the coaches. I'm not sure there is anybody on that team who wants to play more than he does which is why it is so frustrating to watch the games. At least three of the coaches have sons on the team, I do not have a problem with that at all; I think it's wonderful and am truly happy for both father and son. I hope it bonds them closely. What I have a problem with is the fact that on a team of 30 ish kids there only seem to be 11 that are allowed to play, and some of those kids play on both offense and defense for the entire game! Meanwhile the rest of the kids are chomping at the bit or more accurately thier mouth guard to get on the playing field too! I understand that not all 30+ kids cannot be on the field at the same time and that some plays take longer than others but c'mon!! They boys play 4 - 8 minute quarters which in real time (takes forever) is more like and hour and a half of playing time. I think there is a way for Andrew and the other kids to get more then about 5 minutes of playing time, don't you?!

In my world it's not about winning the game or scoring all the points or winning touchdown, not at this level; it's a game! Games are supposed to be fun! Hmmm... At this level they are supposed to be learning how to play the game and which positions do what and being allowed to try different positions so that when points and winning actually matter they will know how and hopefully play in a position they like and want to play in, not being a sub for a position the coach stuck them in. Andrew told me tonight he doesn't even like the position he was placed in! But he's going to play his heart out for the 2 1-minute intervals he's on the field, because he loves the game. He wants to try the positions of running back, wide receiver, tackle, and quarterback, "just for a game, to see what it's like." and why shouldn't he be allowed that, why shouldn't the other kids on the team be allowed to try those positions as well. It's been said that you'd better understand another person if you walked a mile in their shoes, so try it coach! It might make them better understand how they can best play and help the other players as well.

Now I'm not fool enough to think he'll make it to the NFL, (or a college scholarship from this) I'm a realist and I wouldn't want that for my son to be quite honest, (the NFL part, a scholarship would be great, unlikely, but great lol!). Besides, how could he be a cowboy? ;-) I'm not even thinking my son is the best player on the team, he's not, but does that mean he should not have equal time to try? to learn? to have fun? Hmmm......Every night when we come home from practice and today after we got home from the game he thanks me for signing him up for football. It makes me so happy to hear that because I know it comes from his heart from a place of pure joy and yet breaks my heart.

It's not like the games are so close that you'd blow the game by sending in your 'b' or 'c' team, his team has been annihilated at every game, they've only scored one touchdown in 3 games and 2 scrimmages.... but then there's the definition of insanity, doing the same thing and expecting a different result. Hmmmm. Why not mix it up, it cannot hurt, it's might even work better! You might even be surprised, especially if it unifies the team!

I appreciate the coaches, the time, effort and work they put in, I'm sure its not the easiest job in the world and likely very often a thankless job especially when you have to deal with bad ref calls and angry parents. And it's not a job I'd want to do, so I try not to complain, but then the mother side of me emerges and I hurt for my son. I try not to vent my frustration with all of this in front of him because he's having such a wonderful time and I don't want to tarnish any of the memories he's making with complaints so I'm telling y'all instead and fyi, thanks for listening. Don't worry, I have no intention of being one of those parents that get spoken to at every game or that need to be escorted out of a game, no way! Besides being a good example to my son on how an adult conducts themselves, I want to see him play if he gets the chance to go out and I wouldn't get to do that if I was kicked out of the game. Hmmmmmm...... (Nor am I one of those people in a drunken stooper at a concert, those tickets are expensive, and I want to hear them sing!) A wise Southern lady once told me "you get a whole lot more flies with honey, darlin' than with vinegar," so I've often heeded her advice and been fairly successful, of course I've yet to figure out just why you'd want all those flies...


  1. I've seen it both ways in basketball, having raised 4 boys. My oldest two played in grades 5-8 for a really good sensitive but very competitive coach. The team was very good and won most of their games. The coach did put the less talented players in when the lead was established. All the kids loved him and he did a good job preparing the talented ones for competing for a spot on the regional high school team. Then came the day just before number 4 son began playing when the principal decided that everyone would play equally regardless of the score and potential for winning or losing because that wasn't important in her book. The good coach quit Subsequent coaches were unable to develop winning teams and the players from our school were not able to compete for spots on the high school teams. A few were able to make the freshman team and develop into the player they could be but most lacked the basic skills that should have been learned in middle school.
    Coaching a team of children is a difficult job and certainly there are coaches who do a much better job than others. It is harder to sit by as a Mom and want to see your kid given a chance than it is on the kid. He is happy enjoying the comaraderie of others his age. By the way, Motherhood isn't for the faint of heart.

  2. ... not for the faint of heart... lol I hear that!

  3. I've been told too that life lessons are not about learning equal nor fair...note that fair and life are both 4 lettered words for a reason. Think that is why FUN is such a great word.....

  4. Grrr. This is exactly why we have encouraged our 3 boys to do these things:
    1. Find things that you love to do.
    2. Choose things that you can do for a lifetime.
    (music, camping through scouting, falconry, woodworking, golf, the list is endless.)
    3. Do it to your best ability.
    Funny how team sports don't fit with #2

  5. oh so very well said and wonderful advice! and today to add insult to injury, one of the coaches and his sons parked in from of me, I saw the showdown unfold as it happened. read on... The coach and child showed up late, he had to tie up his sons cleats because the son was fighting it. Then the coach had to force him out of the car, it was CLEAR the son had no intention or desire to be there or play. Once coerced out of the car coach shut the door and they headed to the field, the son did an about face and walked back to the car and got in, again refusing to participate. Then dad/coach threatened to embarrass his son by yelling loudly at him in front of the team. Then proceeded to talk to his son about the professional athletes having to do the running and warm-ups too. The son still refused to get out of the car until he was told he didn't have to do the running laps and warm ups like everybody else, that he could just walk part way then practice. Meanwhile I'm in the car fuming for several reason and stunned by what I'm seeing knowing my son would damn near kill himself to play and because his father is not a coach that isn't likely to happen... THEN after practice Andrew asked this particular coach how he liked his (Andrew's) blocks. Coach said GREAT! now do that in a game and we'll be golden! I was LIVID!


So what's the view from your world about that? I'd enjoy hearing it.